SECOND FLASH

While perusing some of the flash fiction on-line magazines, I recently checked out the current issue of insolent rudder to see what these folks have going on, as I have usually enjoyed the stories they've served up in the past couple issues, not to mention the fact that, over the summer, I submitted a story to them.

When the site loaded and I was scanning the contents, my subconscious pimpslapped me a nano-second before my concscious caught up: "Hey," my subconscious said, cuffing me in the noggin', "you know that title."

Then my conscious caught up: "Hell," it said, "you wrote that story!"

Sure enough, insolent rudder had accepted my story,published it in Fall 2006 issue of their magazine and, for whatever reason, I never was notified of said acceptance.

I'm not complaining, however. It looks great, I like the story, and the graphic seems to have been designed especially for the story and doesn't appear to be some stock photo they just laid in next to my words. Very cool.

The name of the story is "The Things I've Lost" and concerns how a fifty-two year old man commits one act of infidelity and ruins his marriage, his family, and his life--all in less than seven hundred words.

If anyone ever reads this cyberspace vaccuum I call a 'blog, please check out the story (or Lockdown in the April 2006 issue of rumble) and let me know what you think.

I mean it: Put down that coffee and donut, dammit, and do it now! Then come back here and leave something in the damn comments section. And no, I don't really care that this is the first post in three months. Just do it!

UPDATE

Here's a random update of writing news:


GODTALK

* The Kristin Nelson Literary Agency read the partial (30 pages) of GODTALK and ultimately passed. Kindly, they said the writing was solid, but felt that the theme was too familiar. I'm not exactly sure what that means other than they feel like they've read the same kind of thing before. I was also encouraged by the fact that they said they reviewed the pages several times. That suggests that they were (seriously?) considering requesting a full.

* Once that rejection came in, I began querying in earnest for GODTALK. I sent out 6 queries in two days. The world has changed a lot since I was querying for BAD MOON RISING. Namely, many agents now accept e-queries. One e-query I sent was to the Harvey Klinger Literary Management, Inc., to agent Sara Crowe. Within an hour, she e-mailed back and ASKED TO SEE THE WHOLE MANUSCRIPT. Since she said e-mail was fine, I consolidated the chapter files into one full file and fired it off the next day. Right now, GODTALK is under consideration by a big-time New York agency!!! I can't be sure, but I wonder if she bothered to Google me since I mentioned "Lockdown" in the cover letter and if that story had any leverage in getting her to request the book. I wanted to pursue flash for just that reason, and now it looks like it just may have worked. On the other hand, I have also received two rejections from the six I've sent out, though.

* Still no word, though, from Serediptity Literary Agency. They've had the whole manuscript for about three months.


FLASH

* I've had positive comments from a number of on-line journals about many of my flash pieces, especially "Biker Bitch" and "Brian's Bride." elimae said they thought "Brian's Bride" was well-written" and would "find a home somewhere." Toasted Cheese said that "Billy's Valentine" had "made through the first round of readings" and that they would let me know in August what their decision is.

* I've just revised a piece called "The Miracle" that I think is some of the best writing I've done. I also just finished the first draft of a piece called "The Assistant" that I think is absolutely dreck. That's how it goes. . .

Now that it's summer, I'm hoping to get a few more flash pieces cranked out and praying that Sara Crowe from Harvey Klinger wants to rep GODTALK.

P.S. I'm hoping this fall to start a new young adult novel--kind of a mystery/ghost story combo.

LOCKDOWN APPEARS AT RUMBLE!

My story "Lockdown" is live at rumble. Here is the link:

http://rumble.sy2.com/apr06/lockdown.html

Please check it out!

I was pleased with the way it turned out. The pic they put with it was edgier than I expected (they have a picture of a row of lockers at a school; I figured they'd use that with my story, but they, uh, went in a slightly different direction. But it's very cool). I've been getting other nice responses, but so far no other rejections. I've also been cranking out a few other pieces here and there. I'm really enjoying the whole flash fiction thang (the writing of the pieces, the ease of submission, and, of course, appearing in a venue that can be seen not by only the 200 people who see a print journal, but, oh, anybody in the world who has access to the world wide web!).

*

(actually, I'm seeing that, for some reason, it's not appearing as a link, but either I'll figure it out later, or you can cut and paste it into your browser. Also, please feel free to leave me a comment about your reaction).

LET'S RUMBLE, PART THREE/ACCEPTANCE!

In yesterday's e-mail:

Hey Dan: Look for "Lockdown" in the new issue of rumble, online next Tuesday or Wednesday, if all goes as planned. . .

Craig Snyder, Rumble Editor

--

My first flash fiction acceptance. Yes! This was only the second official piece of flash fiction I wrote and rumble was the first place I sent it.

And the "web presence" begins. . .

TWO BITS OF NEWS AND AN AFTERTHOUGHT

GODTALK

For the first time in my life I am able to say, "I just sent the book to New York."
The Serendipity Agency in Brooklyn sent me an e-mail awhile back expressing initial interest in Godtalk and asked if I would send the entire manuscript. I finished the revision I was working on and mailed it out over my Spring Break. It was very exciting

FLASH FICTION

I received a rejection from ThievesJargon for "Biker Bitch" that said the story "wasn't bad at all" and that they "nearly took this one." They also said they hoped I would send them something else in the future. Yes! I immediately sent the story back out--to WordRiot, I think.

POETRY (THE AFTERTHOUGHT)

Poetry will not leave me alone. I was just starting to send out some poems again when I took the class on Flash Fiction at the Writers Conference. But snail mail poetry submissions take some effort and I wanted to concentrate on my book and flash fiction, so I'd let it slide. Then it occurred to me that many of the on-line journals take poetry and, since it was just for fun, anyway, seeing my poems in an on-line journal was better than not seeing them published at all. I now have three submissions out (Dicey Brown, Kaleidowhirl, and Ghoti Magazine). We'll see what happens.

STATUS REPORT

Due to some free time at work, I was able to put together a few story submission for the print journals. So here is a current status report of my work:


* The first 30 pages of Godtalk is at the Kristin Nelson Literary Agency (Boulder, CO)
* The first 30 pages of Godtalk is at the Serendipity Literary Agency (Brooklyn, NY)
* Four stories are winging their way to various literary journals
* "An Ordinary Healing" is at Glimmer Train's competition for Short Shorts
* "The Attendance Office" is at the Writers Digest Magazine competition for Short Shorts
* Five pieces of flash fiction have been flung into cyberspace and are being considered by
on-line literary journals
* A new piece of flash fiction is being critiqued by the Julie Ann Shapiro, the woman who
taught the Flash Fiction workshop at SCWC20.
* This morning I revised Chapter 12 of Godtalk. I'm working my way through the whole book
(chapters 13-19 to go!), in the hopes that one of the above-mentioned agencies will request
the whole manuscript.

That's where things stand. I'm pretty happy with that. I don't know what else I can do. . .

LET'S RUMBLE #2

I revised my flash piece "Lockdown" to have a more interesting ending, based on feedback from the editor of rumble. In my re-submission, I said I thought the piece had improved.

Within an hour or so, he e-mailed back and said he felt the story was better, too.

This is all so NOT print journal.

YAHOO!

My work e-mail account was beginning to be clogged with my new hobby--namely, with submission information, feedback from one of the editors of an on-line journal, and messages and critiques back and forth from Julie Shapiro, the woman who gave the flash fiction workshop at SCWC20. I was starting to worry that I would lose important work messages in the mix, so I knew something had to be done.

Therefore, two nights ago I opened a Yahoo e-mail account, strictly for on-line flash fiction submissions. It feels kind of cool to have an e-mail account strictly for my writing.

The key is going to be not to get too obsessed with checking it a million times a day.

LET'S RUMBLE

When you submit a story to a print journal, you stamp the envelope and make sure there's an SASE inside and then you send it off. After you slide the manila envelope into the slot, you wait three to four months to get your rejection slip that you put in the shoebox with all the others.

If you're lucky, and someone took a shine to your story, you get a handwritten "Try us again" or "Sorry to disappoint you on this one."

Those notes are gold!

I submitted my first piece of flash fiction to the on-line journal rumble on Tuesday, February 28th. It was a piece I'd written specifically as a flash called "Lockdown," about a teacher who is experiencing a lockdown drill in her classroom, but since there was no forewarning, she isn't sure if it's real or not.I sent it in about 7:30 a.m.,just before work, using my work e-mail account.

By 9:30 the editor had e-mailed me back and said he got the submission and, based on an initial reading, he thought the ending should be more "wry, sarcastic, or surprising."

I couldn't believe it. Feedback on my story in less than two hours. Amazing.

So I e-mailed back and asked if I should revise and re-submit or just take my chances. In less than another two hours, he'd responded again. He said the submissions wouldn't make their way to the editors for another few weeks, so I had time to play around with the ending and re-submit.

Dialogue with an editor and a chance to revise and resubmit based on editorial feedback.

Miraculous.

NEWS "FLASH"

Over President's weekend, I attended the Southern California Writers Conference held at the Hanalei Hotel in Mission Valley. It was a great experience and I learned a lot about how to make my writing better. Here are some highlights:

* The agent I signed up to see, Kristin Nelson, did not make the conference, so they kicked me over to another agent, Scott Miller with Trident Media Group (They rep. Janet Eavonovich). When he pulled my pages out of the stack, I saw he'd written "Good Writing" on the front. He said Godtalk wasn't his cup of tea, but that he could see an agent being interested. He also gave me valuable feedback about the writing style.

* Met another very nice agent, Regina Brooks, from Serendipity Literary Agency in Brooklyn. I pitched her Godtalk (based on a two sentence pitch I wrote in a workshop on pitching earlier in the day) and she said she'd read the first three chapters. I'm cleaning those up right now. I should be able to send them by the end of next week. I e-queried Kristin Nelson when I got back from the conference. I'd like to see what she says, but I'm not going to keep Regina Brooks waiting.

* The very first workshop I took was on Flash Fiction. I walked in thinking "I know Flash Fiction: 1200 words. 1500 words. Short Shorts. Brian's Bride. Etc." But the workshop presenter, Julie Ann Shapiro, said, "No. Flash pieces are always under 1,000 words and usually between 500-750 words. They have all the elements of fiction (exposition, inciting moment, rising action, climax, denoument, conclusion), but all within a limited word count. When she read some samples (of her flashes and others), I was hooked. Then we wrote one. She said she submits (and has been published) in on-line journals that specialize in flash fiction. When I got home I checked them out. I'd had something of an attitude about on-line journals when I first checked them out five or six years ago, saw them as not much more than glorified blogs, but the good news is that they've grown up! Real writers writing real stories. People I've heard of are publishing there. I couldn't wait until I could get a few pieces together and send them out. There was a harmonic convergence in my heart and mind (the details I will spread over several more posts) and I know this is something I'm supposed to be doing. It encompasses everything I love about writing, all at the same time! For starters, let's talk about no postage charges and no SASEs! How about them apples?

However, since flash fiction consists of writing a dynamite piece of writing in a small space, and that was exactly what I was attempting to do with this blog, the days of slave2themuse may be numbered. Although I may just shorten the posts to keep the world up-to-date on my new exploits in flash fiction. That will start, I suppose, with the next post.

The greatest thing about attending the writers conference for the third time, though, is that I am surrounded by people who have the same illness I have and it just feels good to know that I'm not crazy and that I'm not the only one.

RANDOM NOTES AND WRITING UPDATES

Here are some random updates on my writing process:

* Today, the last submission package returned for Bad Moon Rising. I don't think there are anymore out there. It was from an agent--a rejection, of course (I don't say that out of lack of confidence, but more out of a mathematical/law of averages perspective).

* Regarding the Young Adult book entitled GodTalk. I'm almost finished with chapter 15. Then I will only have two more chapters to finish before having a completed rough draft. Today, during my writing time (which I have cut down to every other day before work, due to work/family obligations), I worked on chapter 15 and wrote some notes on what I wanted to accomplish in a second draft of the novel. I purposely keep writing without looking back at what I wrote to avoid unnecessary self-criticism, but I do have a feeling that it's been going well. It's always seemed well-organized (I had a fairly tight outline) and I like the points I'm making. Of course, I could look at it when I'm done and want to use it as compost.

* Saw the Fall Preview issue of TV Guide. I've loved that issue since I was a kid. Now I look at it to see if any of my L.A. acting friends have gotten gigs in any of the new fall shows. It seems this Fall there will be a show called The Book of Daniel, concerning a Episcopalian minister who deals with stress by having periodic conversations with Jesus. Hmmmm. Deja Vu. Uncomfortably close to the premise of GodTalk. I'm feeling a little bit like I did the first time I heard about Killer Swell. We'll see. . .

* I still need a one sentence pitch, cover letter, and synopsis for GodTalk. I'll work on those after I get the second draft done.

* Paid for the Southern California Writers Conference 20 that will be held in February. My school is paying for the registration fee (yahoo!!) and I paid for three one-on-one advance reading critiques. Since BMR is dead in the water, I'll be trying to pimp GodTalk.Wish me luck.

* The novel tentatively entitled Hollywood Martyr has almost a full chapter in the can and, after polishing GodTalk, I'll most likely try to work on that.

* After reading The Best American Poetry of 2005, I'm getting the itch to write and submit some poetry, but with my writing time at a premium and the fact that poetry DOES NOT pay (but instead merely nurtures and feeds the soul), I don't think I'll be pursuing that right now.

* My short piece "The Father-Daughter Dance" is coming along. I actually did something I don't normally do; I began to edit before a full draft was done, but I was curious as to what I could having analyzed the Mark Helprin story "White Gardens." I tightened some of it up, but I still haven't had a chance to look at the Sam Shepard piece "The Devouring Lion."

* Can't do everything at once. On the other hand, I'm reading a mystery novel by the awesome writer David Baldacci and in the acknowledgment section, he thanks his wife and says something like "Book number ten, can you believe it?"

* Bastard.

THE ANALYSIS OF "WHITE GARDENS"

I marked up Mark Helprin's (re-typed) story "White Gardens." It was helpful. I noted first that it starts in media res, meaning "in the middle of things" The opening line is: "It was August. In the middle of his eulogy, the priest said, 'Now they must leave us to repose in white gardens,' and then halted in confusion, for he had certainly meant green gardens." Even by the end of the first sentence, we are oriented--We know the season (summer), we know we're in a Catholic Church (the priest), and we know someone has died (the eulogy). It's a great opening sentence. I was hooked. We also know that the priest, for whatever reason, has gotten nervous somehow and messed up what he intended to say ("for he had certainly meant green gardens"). All of that is clear by the end of the first sentence. I'm sure there's much more even that we can tell by the end of that first sentence. That he's confused, for one. That he's relying somewhat on clerical cliches, for another.

After indicating that the story picks up in the middle of the action, I marked each of the details ("overcrowded church," "tropical suits," "white smoke billowing from a chimney," "shiny new engine," etc.). I also marked lines that dealt with characterization, point of view, sentence structure (dashes, semi-colons, dependent clauses, etc.) figurative language, theme, description, rhythm, sensory imagery, action, setting, conflict, and resolution. If I possessed more initiative, I'd go back and highlight important vocabulary, strong "theme" sentences, and maybe take a paragraph and write a new piece using only the sentence structure in that paragraph of Helprin's. Just to get a feel for the "style" of the piece. But both you and I get the general picture of the story based on what I've done so far.

I was looking for some kind of pattern or evident dissemination of the elements of fiction, but as in all art, it was like trying to capture a butterfly with a shotgun (that's a simile for you folks who are paying attention to such things). What I did notice, however, is that in this particular short short, the story was high on detail, included much sensory imagery, and let a few very specific references sketch in the setting. That was all helpful analysis to me. I went immediately to a short piece I'm working on that is set at a father/daughter dance in an elementary school and did some editing accordingly.

Next, I will try to tackle the Sam Shepard piece (see previous post). I have to either copy it or re-type it. In truth, I may just copy it because I didn't feel I learned that much from re-typing the Helprin story compared to the amount of effort involved.

The good news, though, is that my father/daughter dance short short is shaping up!

Keep writing, Danny.

WHO WRITES SHORT SHORTS?

MARK HELPRIN


SAM SHEPARD

Every year Writer's Digest Magazine has a contest for very short stories (1500 words or under).  Last year was the first year I entered with a story called "Emily's Dad."  I didn't win, but at least I understood why the winning story walked away with the $3,000 Grand Prize.  It was a work of subtlety and symbolic meaning--all under 1500 words.  

The deadline is December 1, and as I've been mulling over what kind of piece I might like to write and submit, the school year began and I used a short story in our anthology to have my students write a practice literary analysis paragraph.  The story was called "White Gardens" by Mark Helprin.  It involved a memorial service for six firefighters who lost their lives when a building collapsed while they were trying extinguish the fire.  It was mostly from the point-of-view of one of the widows, what she saw, what she thought, and what she was able to take away from the service, especially from the priest's eulogy.  The interesting thing, however, is at one point the priest goofs up his words.  Instead of saying that the deceased firefighters will repose in green gardens (meaning go to a more beautiful and peaceful reward when they die), he is very young and becomes emotionally overcome by the proceedings and says that they will repose in white gardens.  Much of the story concerns everyone--the priest included--trying to figure out what he meant by "white gardens."

I wanted a short piece to use as an example of a quality story my students could analyze, but what I realized is that the story had everything I was looking for in a piece I might write and submit to the Writer's Digest contest:  not only conflict and resolution, but brevity, depth, symbol, specific sensory detail, and emotion.

I decided I wanted to use this story as a model for the story I would write.  But I wanted to tear it apart and see what made it tick.  So I took the story and home and retyped it.  Just to get the feel of typing a high quality short short.  I wanted to see if I noticed anything about the rhythm of writing such a story from start to finish (I didn't).  

I thought it would exceed the minimum word count, but it didn't.  It came in just over 900 words.  Once I double-spaced it and printed it up, I knew I could use it to analyze why it was such a good story. My plan (as it is with everything I read for analysis) was to mark it up and identify many of the issues that I listed above.  Having done that, my theory goes, I might be more apt (that means likely, John) to write a better story.

I'm also planning on doing the same thing with a short short called "The Devouring Lion" by Pulitzer Prize winning writer and actor Sam Shepard. It concerns a man who goes back to work driving a Caterpillar earth mover after a nervous breakdown because a woman left him. It comes in at about three pages, but is a powerful piece of writing. Sam Shepard has always been one of my favorites.

I'm almost done with the YA novel, though, so maybe I won't send anything to this contest.  Who knows?

At least writing and sending a story is the plan.  Stay tuned.